Happy Columbus Day!

Here are some interesting facts:

1. He really discovered the Dominican Republic and then showed the natives how to play baseball.

2. He was the 1^st and last Italian Person to work for a Spanish person.

3. He was named after Columbus Ohio. Where his parents frequently vacationed.

4. While people believed the world was flat, He believed it was triangular.

5.  Johnny Depp played him in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.  

6.  He is the 6^th most famous Italian behind Robert Dinero and the cast of the Jersey Shore, but after he saw the show, Columbus admitted he would have never ever landed in New Jersey.

7.  His 1^st wife died of Consumption. I have no idea what that means.

8. His Parade in New York draws less people than the Nigerian and Albanian day parades. 

Mr. Ed Rooney and Poor Ferris Bueller's tooshie.

Mr Rooney a Sex offender
                                                  












I had no idea Ed Rooney was into taking pictures of 13-year-old boys!

I always thought Mr. Rooney was the kind of guy to make Sloane Peterson  Blow him, just so she could get into community college.

This is such a shame Ed, you were better than this!

But now that I think  about it Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) always did seem a bit “off” was Ferris forced to take it in the poop shoot to avoid detention? Get those sick days down from 9 to 1?? Who knows the torture he was put through. 

                    Sure Broderick may be married to the big nosed ugly Jewish looking chick from Sex and the City but read between the lines. She likes to shop, so does he. She likes shoes, so does he. She likes to have sex with random men, so does he!! Wow. I should become a Private investigator.

                                The guy was also on Broadway, In a musical!!! He 100% puts form the rough.

Mr. Rooney. How sad. How could you do this to Ferris? Look what his life has become? I am glad they caught  you. Maybe now you can tell them where they buried Cameron. 

Bronx Teacher Admits Being A Former Prostitute-So What?

Bronx grade-school teacher at P.S. 70 Melissa Petro admits being a former prostitute - NYPOST.com

I really don’t know why they made this into such a big deal. It wasn’t like she blew anyone to GET her actual teaching job; she just got paid to blow people before she got it.  We all have had shitty ex-jobs we hate and are embarrassed about, what makes her different? We should at least give her some credit; her new job does provide health insurance, a pension and paid summers OFF.  Tell me how many pimps give their hoes the ENTIRE summer off PAID? Not any I know of.

            I guess in some old-fashioned peoples eyes having an ex-hooker teaching kids isn’t the best thing. But hey at least it was in the Bronx, where only 1 in 30 public school kids will make a meaningful contribution to society.  9 of 30 will probably go onto hooking, so maybe she could have helped in some ways. Just saying.

A few other things she could have taught or helped with:

Sex Ed: She could show the kids her Herpes outbreaks and how to apply condoms using their mouths.

Entrepreneurship: running a cash business, avoid taxes and being an independent contractor.

           

At least she wasn’t banging any of the kids. 

Career Day Gone Wrong!

Tiger Woods' 'No. 1' mistress Rachel Uchitel is going back to school - NYPOST.com

            Tiger Woods former #1 Putter and ex-nightclub hostess, Rachel Uchitel is now pursuing her Masters Degree in Forensic Psychology.  That is not a joke, I am dead serious. This truly is an apparent situation of Career day going horribly wrong.

            Guidance counselors don’t tell: Fat girls to become Ballerinas, Women to be Racecar drivers, Midgets to go play in the NBA, Retards to become Astronauts. They tell people somewhat of the truth and try and guide them in what they are actually capable of.  I am sure Ms Uchitel was either blowing her guidance councilor and he was moaning, “Sure you can become whatever you want, uh huh” Or she missed her appointment totally because she was getting double teamed by the football team under the bleachers. Either way there is a total disconnect.

            I could only imagine super psychologist at her first murder scene. “I once found a half of pill of ecstasy in a couch cushion at Marquee, then found the other half in a bathroom stall. I will solve this case in a minute.”  Who wouldn’t she make feel like she had the crime all wrapped up? 

            I am really just concerned because she usually has most of the D.N.A in her Hair and on her chin. You can’t sole crimes that way. Maybe she actually become C.S.I- Cock Sucking Instructor. 

Women Sports "Reporters"

                 The Brash and loud N.Y Jets made headlines a week ago for what was called “inappropriate” behavior towards Ines Sainez.  

No, this is not a hooker a player slept-with or beat up. She is a “Reporter”. 

            On the field and in the locker room players ALLEGEDLY hissed and made catcalls towards her.  They also threw balls (Footballs) towards the area she was standing in so they could walk by her and get a closer look at her.

            The NFL Lockeroom is a player’s sanctuary. We watch, pay and want these uneducated steroid freaks to smash, tackle and rip each others heads off. We can’t expect them to be Choirboys 10 minutes after a game.  Testosterone is not a light switch that can be turned on and off.  If Sainez wanted political correctness and calm athletes, maybe she should interview Tiger Woods in the Clubhouse after a round of Golf. Maybe he isn’t the best person to interview. But some other lame-ass golfer if she wants to be taken serious. Stay away from the real sports NFL, MLB, NHL, and NBA. Thanks.

            Yes, Ines Sainez is smoking hot, but she is not a “Reporter”.  She is Bleach and Silicone with a microphone.  She knows as much about sports (Especially the NFL) as a deaf, dumb, blind, partially retarded amputee.

           

Do I fault this woman for becoming a reporter? No. Whatever you can do to make a buck off of your looks, go ahead and do.  I am sure acting and modeling didn’t work out for her, so this is a step above porn and posing for playboy. 

            Good for her making a living anyway she can. But two words lady- PANTS SUIT.  Nobody hisses at Hilary Clinton due to her always-professional attire.  Ines, you are a reporter not a cocktail waitress in Las Vegas.  Call Brooks Sisters for some custom made attire.

            There is also a HUGE-HUGE Double standard here. Another reason why women will never truly be equal in this county. Men Reporters are not even allowed to walk into Women’s locker rooms!! Not that many men would want to walk into a WNBA or a women’s Softball team locker.  But if I was put in the situation of having to report on, lets just say: Women’s college soccer at an ACC or SEC School.  Just saying if I had to, I would.  But because I am a man, I could not “Report” from the locker rooms. Fair?

I think not.

Why you always should wear a belt.

Segue to Safety

Segway boss dies after riding scooter off cliff in northern England - NYPOST.com

The Segway owner dying from a Segway crash is a great segue to Segway safety.