Randomness -
Two of the funniest/disturbing things I overheard this week.-
A flamboyant gay black man bragging to his heterosexual friend. “I give more shots to the face then Botox”. His friend was saying he was in a slump with the fellas.
(I blew snot out of my nose, laughing so hard.)
Some Intern at my office “I think getting an actual heart attack playing charades would be awful”
FACT-I never heard it called Monday Funday, just Fucking Monday. I guess because Sundays, I treat my body like a cesspool/garbage disposal.
EATS-
The best dating website Since YouPorn. Also great places for you and your crew to go.
Hollywood Scum-
Khloe Kardashian is marrying Queens Native-Los Angels Lakers Player, Lamar Odom. A few things: Lamar are you recruiting that giant to play power forward or are you coming out of the closet as a lover of transsexuals? Queens is very upset. It is fair to say that their babies will be the world’s dumbest children. Odom, can barley read (fact I know some of his classmates from high school-also he scored below a 600 total on the SAT). While, She makes her sisters look like Astronauts.
In the News -
British A$$ hole- Some dim wit Brit, wants to let the giant pandas go extinct. He thinks we should not protect or try and breed them any longer. Chris Packham is some clown who is obviously heartless and definitely was molested as a child. Who could not love these big dumb slow things? They are the definition of cute. I once won a stuffed Panda at Play-Land for some chick. I think it got me to 2nd base that night on the beach wall.
All sports- (For the Dudes who email me and request it)
-If it is a Yankee vs. Phillies World Series- I may commit fucking suicide.
-Chick Giants fans are way hotter that Chick Jet fans.
-Dude Jet fans get way drunker and are more fun then Dude Giant Fans.
-Tiger Woods-likes to putt from the rough. If he doesn’t like getting anal than I am not a funny person.
-People from Boston are really annoying in any sports conversation and discussion.
-I don’t think there should be female reporters at NFL, or MLB games. Unless they are allowed to be towel snapped on the butt in the locker rooms. The NBA can have female announcers as long as they can dunk.
-If you are a “Die Hard” fan of 2 or more of these teams, you really are a jerk-off. Actually if you like any of these teams, you are a jerk-off. Notre Dame Football-The Dallas Cowboys-The New York Yankees-Duke Basketball.
-Face Painters are never cool-actually they are fucking creepy and weird. But any Fat dude who takes his shirt off and/or puts paint on his gut. Is the freaking MAN!
-Please see the above picture on why Brady Quinn should not be on anyone’s fantasy team. (He is the dude in the Pink grabbing his boy’s package)
WOW-
-Reason 2,030,123 to not live in New Jersey- A guy was caught putting his penis is cow’s mouths! Guy is Sick and so is Jersey.
HATE/RESPONSES-
There are so many haters of my Blog/Me out there right now. There has always been, I have no idea why. I am just trying to live, look good, do my thing. I don’t pay you any mind, so just please get off of it. (You know what).
-Also to the girl who keeps sending me those wonderful naked pictures, I do appreciate them, but there is no way I have a stalker as hot as you.
-NEXT WEEK- I take a deep analysis into Facebook and I declare it the world’s greatest invention!!!!!
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