The Marrying up Phenomenon, and other things I learned at Weddings this Year.
As my 2009 wedding season comes to a close, I look back and reflect on all that I have learned.
Here are a few BOLD STATEMENTS ones that should now appear in every Wedding Bible.
-All members of the Bridal party need to coordinate/plan their wedding entrances better. It is the most important day of your friend’s life, show some respect and get creative. Do a hokie pokie, use a prop, do something memorable!!!
-How can venues not serve shots at weddings? Or how could a couple not want it? People are shelling out serious $$$ for your gifts. Let them at least drink their moneys worth!
-Ice luges are so IN! They are the new Black.
-There should be a rule if you are in the Bridal party you 100% have to get laid that night.
-Tuxedo’s suck elephant cock.
-Try not to go out to hard the night before or get to drunk at the rehearsal dinner. You could be an ass and miss the entire wedding ceremony.
I do not brag about my friends to often, but they all married UP. The collection of friends that got married this year are one or a combination of the following: Drunk, Fat, Stupid, Broke, Dumb, Obnoxious, Miserable, Bald and Ugly. One even has a profuse sweating problem. Yet they all convinced girls to marry them. Great Girls-who all looked wonderful, while my friends looked like they just rolled out of bed. So I would like to say I am proud of you boys, for pulling one over on these poor girls. Your cunning and trickery is why we are friends. I am so proud and truly love you all.
I can’t wait for the 2010 Season!
Where are they now?
Either A. Strung out on Heroin B. In Gay Porn. C. In the Peace core.
From the 90’s TV Show Blossom
1. Joey
2. Anthony
3. The DAD
Answers at the bottom.
Girls in School Uniforms-
This thought passed trough my mind recently- It is 100% because Halloween is around the corner. Not because I see them on the train or in my neighborhood all the freaking time. Girls in Catholic school uniforms. God help me! I can’t remember the last time I got with a girl wearing one (It must have been a few Halloweens ago- wink, wink). Sure Chicks dress like Cheerleaders or Naughty nurses and that’s sexy. But a girl in a plaid skirt and button down shirt! That is my definition of Heaven. I cannot wait for the school bell today. I mean Halloween.
Answers. To where are they now.
1. All of the above. 2. A &C 3. B & C
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