Gwynnetastic Simple Math
Rich Dude + Young girl = A part of life
Girls with mental Issues + 100% of the time = Find me
Rich Dude + Old ugly wife = Got rich after wedding day and gets BJ’s from secretary and no Pre-Nup!
Girls with drinking problems + Real bad ones = The ones I fall in love with
1 Guy + 2 Girls = An awesome girlfriend
Cheese + 3a.m + Anything = Better
2 guys + 1 Girl = A lot of girls secret Fantasy.
Man + Women with Kids = Baggage
Man with Kids + Women = She must be real desperate.
Man + 10 shots of Jameson + Ugly Girl = Him “I slept with a model last night”
Pretty Girl + 10 drinks + Ugly Guy = Never happens or = He coincidentally is Rich
Me + Red bull+ Jameson= GwynneZilla
EDWARD 40 HANDS- Please see website for Urban dictionary definition.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=edward%2040%20hands
I heard about this ridiculous/hilarious game from one of my friends this past weekend. It basically is where you duct-tape 2x 40oz of Beer to your hand and have to drink them before you finish. No bathroom breaks, no Text messaging, no video games, just drinking and more drinking. It sounds great but I am shocked I have never heard of it. I can’t wait to play!!!!!
Ooops!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3NrLgfp_4w&feature=related
A funny old clip and some Irony and a story about my life. It made me think of one of my friends who while being very handsome is not the brightest bulb there is. While we were on vacation he was leaving a voicemail for his girlfriend and forgot to End the call after his planned sweet message for her. So for the next 30 minutes we had an accidental recorded conversation about how much he cheats on her, how he hates her family etc etc. Then I chime in on how much I hate her and how much I love the fact he cheats on this moron girl and how I hate her family too!! Needless to say when we returned from Mexico, she was not pleased. She of course broke up with my buddy, cursed me out, told her parents/brother (I played baseball with her brother and called him a sad spoiled loser, who sucked on the voicemail) and that was that. Her and my friend patched things up for the 23rd time in their relationship. Good for them, them on their way to the World record of breakups. But ironically enough she never has forgiven me! Even worse she pulled the ultimate cock-block on me last year! I met a girl Kim (Real Name) who taught in the same school as her in Long island (Kim not G.U.D because she lived in the city and reverse commuted, so she has a shot). But my friend’s girlfriend told Kim: in exact words that I am “A cocky/arrogant/asshole-stay away from him” (I wanted to call her and let her know the first two meant the same thing) but I didn’t. So Kim lets me know she’s not interested. No sweat there is a billion other bunnies out there. But here is the Twist my friends’ girlfriend just got caught talking smack about Kim to another teacher in the women’s bathroom at the school. HAHA sucked. Payback sucks. My friend is still with his girl, From what I hear they are still breaking up and being miserable still. He and I don’t ever hang out anymore (he is whipped and lives on long island). Kim texted me out of the blue after this whole incident happened (is she using me for payback –I don’t care). But the funny thing is, Kim does not have Facebook or know about Gwynnetastic. So I can now write whatever I want about her and not care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Halloween- Funniest/Meanest costume idea. (Heard someone else say this)
- Going as Michael Jackson with a cabbage patch glued to his privates. With a t-shirt saying: Heaven. Too Funny.
I am so Fired up about this weekend. Friday-Sunday. I took off (I am calling in sick Monday) like a true veteran. I already told my body how much abuse and poison I am going put it through as well. I even am going to have a salad this week to try and balance out the mayhem a little.
This weekend is what Christmas used to be for me as a kid. It combines all the loves of my life. Girls acting and dressing slutty, Booze, Football, Candy, Sunday Drinking and being off on a Monday. Heaven!!
Editor’s note- I apologize for the short entries the past two weeks. But please Stop all the Bitching and moaning. I know, I have my public and they need to be pleased but I am trying to live. I go 100 mph at all times, that’s where my creative juices and lifestyle were born and bred from. I will back to the longer entries soon. I promise.
Also next weeks posting will be on Tuesday Nov 3rd. The lord needs that day for Rest.
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