The NYC Marathon has came and gone. It was truly an exhausting/Marathon of a day. I want to run it one day, but have to get my ears pinned down first. So, for now I will just continue to get drunk and cheer on others.
Congratulations to all those who finished. The dynamic Twibbie Duo, Walt, Rene, M-Kidd, Trip and the Astre twins. Great job and good seeing all of you.
It is crazy seeing senior citizens, midgets, and amputees all run. But what really is amazing is how large breasted women run it. I mean LARGE ones. How the heck do you hold those things down, 3 sports bras? I saw some lady running with what looked like two NBA basketballs in her shirt. I am surprised they didn’t knock her in the face or smash into another runner. So congrats to all of the busty women on your amazing feat and thanks for making my watching experience more pleasurable.
The Addiction Chronicles:
So this sad, pathetic, feel sorry for me society we now live in has been making continuous excuses for all of our pitfalls/fuckups. I am Bi-polar, I am depressed, I have Sciatica, my parents are divorced, I am color blind, etc etc. Boo fucking hoo. Everyone has a damn sob story. But the new “Sex addiction/Sex rehab” excuse is truly a joke. We must all have it! Who the hell doesn’t want to sleep with new/better looking people all the time? I hear the “not me’s” I am with my soul mate and I am so happy being monogamous blah blah blah. Shut THEEEEE. All the whipped men who use that soul mate crap would leave there girlfriends/wives just too touch the butt of Jessica Alba or Selma Hayek. As for the girls who say, “I would never do that, “O no not me”!!! Shut it! If Brad Pitt or Derek Jeter had you alone in a room, you would swallow your wedding ring so there was no proof and you would go to town! It is just who we are as a people!
As this World Series is going on between the two teams I dislike most, let me have a nice long rant about true Baseball etiquette and proper behavior at games.
People- Yes, food at baseball games is expensive and I don’t mind people sneaking stuff in. But unless you have an Asian player playing for your team, you cannot sneak in Chinese food!
It is just not a baseball food!
Neither are Twinkies or Devil dogs (I do wish they were). So if you are sneaking in food, please let it be baseball related. Hot dogs, Sandwiches, Beer, Pretzels, and Cracker jacks etc. Cous cous and hummus have no place at a freaking baseball stadium.
If you did not attend, or watch an ENTIRE regular season game – I mean-sat though and watched every inning/pitch! You should not be allowed to attend the World Series. Not mentioning any fair weather Yankee fans by name (Ray, Tommy, Sean) that didn’t go to a game all year but now are decked out head to sneaker in brand new Yankees gear. Guys, the season started back in April F.Y.I.
Also this is for countless girls. Who now update YANKEEEES on their Facebook status
It is annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t want a play by play from you. You all are worse than Joe Buck.
Men- If you are over 14 and are not mentally retarded, please don’t bring your glove to the game. It looks utterly ridiculous.
Also since-Yankee and Phillies fans have the most classless fans in the league, this especially for them. If there is a group of women who support the other team, respect to them. They are not men and in most cases have no idea about sports and/or about life in general. Leave them be. Let them cheer and just listen to their dumb comments. Spitting and pouring beer on women is not right at a baseball game. Other times, there can be exceptions. But not at a baseball game, It is America’s pastime.
Jerseys- You cannot wear a former player’s jersey if he was with the team for less than 3 years and or sucked while with that team! Yankee fans cannot wear Randy Johnson, Carl Pavano, Kevin Brown or Kenny Lofton Jerseys. Phillies fans, please throw out your Scott Rolen jerseys.
Also David Bell sucked so it was a waste of money in the first place. The only former Phillies who have Jersey rights are Mike Schmidt, Lenny Dykstra, Steve Carlton, Pete Rose and John Kruk (for fat guys only).
Women- Please do some research and know who is on the actual roster. Phrases like “That cute guy is up now” or “The guy with the butt” Should never be uttered at a damn baseball game.
Athletes and Kids-Say yes to Drugs!
Andre Agassi recently came out and says he used Crystal Meth while playing professional tennis and while banging Brooke shields! Now that explains the hairdo.
So we add Agassi to the List: Daryl Strawberry, Dwight Gooden, Lawrence Taylor, Dennis Rodmen, Keith Hernandez and Chris Mullin. Steroids? Who needs them? My kid is going to be doing Coke-Meth and Crack all while dribbling a basketball from the age of 3 on. I am breeding me a millionaire!
FACTS/NOTES:
-90% of all girls named Lauren are hot.
-People who go out for Halloween and don’t dress up. Suck at Life.
-Guy saying “we’re Pregnant” is truly awesome and funny.
-There are no good movies out.
- Best book I read- Robert F. Kennedys: The Pursuit of Justice (It will really change you life) No matter what party you support. These problems still plague America 30 years after he identified them.
-As planned I have recently managed to stay away from girls 19-22. It has been tough to say the least, but I am a trooper. I can make it until Jan 1 2010.
GO VOTE TODAY- It is not a privilege-It is your Duty.
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