Happy birthday! The Anniversary Issue:
This past year was monumental in the history of this planet, there was the invention of the Snuggie, we as a country elected our first Black President, MTV did a hit reality show about the Jersey Shore, and there was also a devastating Earthquake in Haiti. But all of that was trumped by the birth of this poetic/beautiful/informative/futuristic blog!
It has been a whole year since the birth of greatness. I give myself a big congratulations on this wonderful achievement and remain so amazed on a daily basis.
I truly love myself and all of my creativity. I also love and thank you, my supporters/fans/followers. Your encouragement for me to speak and think freely has made me the great person I am today. A year ago I hoped to be a pioneer for my opinions and expertise; on dating, women, sex, pop culture along with criticizing peoples overall stupidity and I think I achieved doing so. I promise many more years of wonderfulness to come! Happy birthday to me again.
Not Funny Black History Month Joke:
A group of elementary school teachers in California made their students walk in a Black history month parade carrying large photos of “supposed black leaders”. The teachers gave students pictures of O.J Simpson, Dennis Rodman and RuPaul. While it is wrong to not celebrate people such as MLK, Malcolm X, James Baldwin, Langston Hughes etc. I give the teachers a pass for trying to be more current.
But what really bothers me is that they tried to put RuPaul in the same category as O.J and Dennis Rodman. He/She/It (RuPaul) has never ever done anything wrong! O.J is a Murder; Dennis Rodman is a drunk, women beating freak menace. But RuPaul is just a true Diva! A Fashion icon and Pioneer! Transvestites such as Lady Gaga, Wendy Williams and Khole Kardashian all owe party of their success and style to the original queens. I apologize to RuPaul on behalf of those teachers; they don’t know your greatness and your contributions to society. They better get a history lesson and just better work! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suLddrBpWOk&feature=related
A Letter to a Lost Friend:
Dear: Biggie, Christopher Wallace. Notorious B.I.G, Biggie Smalls, Big Poppa, My friend and Soul Brother. The greatest Rapper of all time.
I write you a letter a day before the anniversary of your death. I need to get some things off my chest because I have kept them so bottled up for so long.
First off, I miss you brother. A part of me died when you did. You were the first person to really make me feel Gangster. Remember when I had the fake Rolex back in 97; I used to say it was a family heirloom? I have a real one now. I done came up! Man, how times have changed! I don’t really wear sweat suits anymore either. I wear a freaking real suit, everyday! Not just for court appearances, for my job. How times change a person. Would you still be rocking Timberlands, Gold Chains and Polo? Or would you be wearing Crocs, Skinny jeans and a Trucker hat? Big, don’t laugh. Things have changed since you have been gone. I won’t name names, but you know who the Busters are that have been endorsing Tampons, socks, colognes and anything that will pay them a dollar. I know you would only have endorsed McDonalds and Hennessey, stayed true to the game. I wonder would you have got into the acting game if you were still around? Maybe played Jackie Gleason in the Hollywood Project version of the Honeymooners. Or maybe you could have played the guy from the BLINDSIDE! I know you would have won an Oscar now if you were still around. If you were still alive at least that awful NOTORIOUS movie would not have came out. Man, I miss you. Sean Kingston and that guy Keenan from SNL would not have careers if it weren’t for you! You made Fat and Black so cool. We all owe you man, the whole world.
You are probably sitting in heaven, mad as hell that puffy is still getting royalties off your rhymes even more mad that he wore that Tuxedo while Jet Skiing in that Cologne commercial. But I know you are down right furious about Making the BAND season 1-4! Sorry BIG, I don’t work for MTV so I could not stop it.
I wonder who you would be dating if you were still here? Would you be tapping Serna Williams instead of Common? Would you be plowing Maria instead of Nick Cannon? Or would you have gotten true Gangster and been getting it on with J.LO and Madonna? Maybe a 3-way. I know you would have stayed pimping after all these years.
Rumor down here is that you Michael Jackson and DJ AM are working on an album. I think you should let Tupac get on some tracks. I hope you guys made up. Is he really dead? Give me a sign?
Big, the potential that you had was one of a kind. I miss you and love you.
Thanks for the lesson on Mo Money Mo Problems. It is a player’s creed. Happy anniversary
One Love Homie
Odds and Ends:
-Q. Who would Tiger Woods be if he didn’t wear a Condom? A. Antonio Cromartie the NY Jets new cornerback who has 7 kids in 5 states with 6 different mothers. Chasing all those kids around better help him cover wide receivers better!
-Mo’nique won an Oscar last night. If she could only now win the TV show The BIGGEST LOSER, that would really impress me.
-I am not sure about this new fashion trend I have seen on girls recently. Those stockings/leggings/tights with the designs on them. They look like the Doilies my grandmother used to have on her dinner table at the nursing home. Some of them make girls look like Julia Roberts in Pretty women. Not when she went shopping on Rodeo Drive, but when she was working on the corner. Memo: Stop wearing them. They look stupid!
Videos/Songs of the week:
- I am on GwynneCation next week, Vegas baby. Might be two weeks before the next entry. Sorry.
1-Love:
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